- Do you find yourself waking up in the morning and immediately reaching for another ‘policy statement’ ?
- Do you get uncontrollable urges to review a document which was a review of a previous review?
- Do you need to provide ‘obs’ on the 100th version of an internal ‘discussion paper’ in order to relax?
- Do you find yourself in the office backyard more and more, sucking on the latest draft of a ‘plan’ for something or other with some colleagues?
- Are you getting stressed that you need more and more policy documents all the time to get the same buzz and yet nothing ever changes?
- Do you drift off to sleep at night holding the latest report of yet another task force with those pretentious, tiny rectangular black horn-rimmed glasses still on the end of your nose?
- Are you driven to digging around in wastepaper baskets for ‘position papers’ which were circulated around the shop for two years and then quietly binned?
It sounds like you have a bad case of Civil Service Syndrome, or CSS. CSS is a complex and multi-faceted behavioural-professional dysfunction.
You can start to free yourself from CSS TODAY and get a real life. It IS possible. And we can help.
Phone the CSS Helpline NOW. You will be put through to one of our specially-trained counsellors who will talk you through proven strategies for giving up this futile neurosis which is damaging to your health and the health of citizens around you. We’ll send you out a special information and assistance pack to get you started on reducing and ultimately eliminating your dependency on this pointless fix.
You CAN do it! Just look at the comments from some of the people we have helped, people locked in convoluted ‘high-level policy development’ in the government sector, living lives of secret misery.
Ann (PhD), former Head of Strategic Policy Formulation, State Agency:
“I thought it was so cool. I was on the front of every departmental newsletter with another policy publication dangling from my fingers. Everyone listened to me. But inside I knew I was addicted and out of control. I couldn’t go five minutes without drafting another recommendation, I didn’t care that it had been recommended two hundred times already in 50 different reports. At home I couldn’t relax without a fix, I even tried to get my partner hooked on detailed policy statements. One morning I just woke up and said ‘this has to stop’. I phoned the helpline. They were a lifesaver. With their support, I had the courage to go cold turkey. I’m now driving an Air Coach bus, I’ve never been happier.”
Derek, former Assistant Deputy Director (Acting) of Policy Impact Analysis, Government Department:
“For years I refused to accept I had a problem. Addiction was something that happened to other people, not me. I told myself I was in control, I could take it or leave it any time I wanted. But I was just fooling myself, I was in way over my head. I started on just a few policy documents every day, but within a few months I was needing more and more just to keep my head above water. I started hoarding them as I was scared to be left without a fix within easy reach at any time of the day or night.”
Take control of your life NOW! Phone 1-800-QUIT-CIV (1-800-7848-248)
The names have been changed.
Tags: Addiction, Civil Service, cold turkey, neurosis, policy, position papers, reviews
